Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
