I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
