this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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