It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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