yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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