White coat. Heels.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
