there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
