My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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