I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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