Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
