I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize