I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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