Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize