If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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