4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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