fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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