what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
