Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
