I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
