I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
