I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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