I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
