Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So much rum. So many feels.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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