Don't you send me to vm
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.