So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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