my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
