Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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