3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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