thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
