So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
