And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Boobs are out for the taking
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
