I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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