you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
