My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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