she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
