i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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