Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wish you could order shots online.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
