Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize