No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
