we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
