thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize