I can text with my tongue
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
organizing the empties. That sober.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
did i just pee glitter
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
