Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
