well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
