i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
