I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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