Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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