My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
