Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
