so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?