I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did