the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?