like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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