His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
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I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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