sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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