I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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