After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
