i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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