AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
