I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
please come you make the beer taste better
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
