allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
