Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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