i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The beer is more important than you right now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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